Streaming tv has ushered in a brand new period of on-screen kink. From Euphoria on HBO to Billions on Showtime, these TV-17 dramas do not draw back from portraying fetish — typically, literal streaming. Take the brand new season of You on Netflix: Adam (Lukas Gage), an affiliate of Joe’s, will get off by being urinated on by wait workers.
This kink has many names: piss play, watersports, golden showers, or — extra formally — erotic urination. We requested the consultants to clarify what piss play is, and why some folks discover it arousing.
Piss play turning into extra mainstream
Piss play includes using urine for sexual gratification, i.e. urinating on somebody or ingesting urine. Fantasizing about this kink is not so unusual: In a research of greater than 4,000 People for his e-book Inform Me What You Need: The Science of Sexual Need(Opens in a brand new tab), Dr. Justin Lehmiller discovered that 32 p.c of males and 15 p.c of girls mentioned they’ve had a sexual fantasy involving urine earlier than.
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“Once you begin these numbers, it means that perhaps this is not as uncommon of an curiosity as we have usually thought,” mentioned Lehmiller, a Ph.D in social psychology and fellow on the Kinsey Institute.
Piss play has gotten an increasing number of media consideration in recent times, mentioned intercourse educator and creator All The F*cking Errors(Opens in a brand new tab) Gigi Engle. “It began with the entire Donald Trump rumor,” mentioned Engle, referring to the alleged “pee tape”. “Now persons are beginning to really feel extra comfy speaking about it. It is the identical phenomenon that occurred with like 50 Shades of Gray,” she defined.
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Whereas 50 Shades obtained so much incorrect about kink, it pushed BDSM into the mainstream. Now, piss play is the present “media darling,” in response to Engle.
This additionally coincides with People getting kinkier generally. In a survey Kinsey performed with intercourse store Lovehoney as soon as COVID vaccines turned extensively obtainable, over half of individuals mentioned their sexual pursuits modified through the pandemic. Of these, 73 p.c mentioned they’re kinkier now.
Why is piss play arousing?
“There are as many solutions” as to why somebody may get pleasure from piss play “as there are individuals who benefit from the observe,” mentioned intercourse therapist Stefani Goerlich(Opens in a brand new tab), licensed intercourse therapist/scientific sexologist and creator. For some — just like the You character Adam — it is about degradation.
Degradation play is an exercise that includes making a consensual, pre-negotiated feeling of humiliation, worthlessness, disgrace, or embarrassment in somebody, mentioned Goerlich. Whereas masochism is commonly regarded as somebody having fun with bodily ache — and that is true for a lot of — some masochists as an alternative get pleasure from the way in which their our bodies reply to those intense emotional sensations.
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“For these of us, degradation play generally is a key factor of their sexual expression,” Goerlich continued. Because the mind processes emotional and bodily ache equally(Opens in a brand new tab), degradation play is one method to obtain an endorphin-rush that others could expertise getting spanked.
You straight connects class and standing to degradation in a method that is each practical and particular, Goerlich mentioned. Not all people who enjoys degradation implements themes of sophistication into their play, however the concepts of standing and hierarchy are integral to such actions.
WhileYou’s portrayal of degradation is practical, Adam’s lack of curiosity in taking part in subservient to his precise associate indicators that urination validates and reinforces his actual sense of superiority to others, mentioned Goerlich. For most individuals who get pleasure from urination play, nonetheless, that emotional energy imbalance stops when the scene does.
One more reason folks could get pleasure from watersports is the sturdy sense of dominance or submission relying in your function within the act. “One of many explanation why lots of people are drawn to watersports is that they’ve a broader curiosity in BDSM,” Lehmiller mentioned. “So they could discover it arousing to urinate on a associate as an act of dominance, or they could discover it arousing to be urinated on or, in some instances, to drink a associate’s urine as an act of submission or humiliation.”
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Degradation, nonetheless, is not vital for piss play. For some, it is concerning the sensory expertise — they could benefit from the scent, really feel, or sight of urine. Urine is perhaps a fetish to those of us, which means they’ve an everlasting fascination with it and the olfactory, tactical, or visible parts that associate with this play.
And, like many sexual pursuits, there is a draw to the taboo nature of it. “One of many most important issues that that turns us on is being informed one thing is unhealthy or one thing is taboo or one thing’s incorrect,” Engle mentioned. “That is simply how the human mind works…for those who inform me no, I would like it extra.”
“Making an attempt new issues — and particularly making an attempt issues which might be taboo — may be very erotically interesting to lots of people.”
“Making an attempt new issues — and particularly making an attempt issues which might be taboo — may be very erotically interesting to lots of people,” Lehmiller concurred.
Whether or not a sexual act is taboo, nonetheless, relies on time and place. “There are all the time issues in society which might be sexually taboo, and that bar retains shifting,” Lehmiller mentioned. “It wasn’t that way back that oral intercourse was thought of to be actually taboo, however now it is thought of a very regular factor and it is quite common.”
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Our distance with bodily fluids is pretty new in human historical past as nicely. “It wasn’t terribly way back that everybody had a chamber pot beneath their mattress and, in consequence, we have been all a lot nearer to our numerous physique fluids than we’re right this moment,” mentioned Goerlich. Now that we have now indoor plumbing, “distance virtually all the time ends in a way of disgust, whether or not warranted or not,” she mentioned. Our tradition has thus come to see urine as one thing gross to be prevented, and degrading to come across.
Additional, it is perhaps the case that folks see piss play on TV and experiment IRL — but it surely is also that the heightened media consideration has emboldened folks to be extra open about it.
“We do not know to what diploma curiosity in these actions [is] particularly altering versus folks simply now really feel like they’ll discuss it,” Lehmiller mentioned.
Piss play is “actually, actually regular,” mentioned Engle, and also you may wish to strive it — for the explanations acknowledged above. If you are going to strive it, finest do it within the bathe or tub for straightforward cleanup.
“Some of us get pleasure from leaning into that disgust in an effort to evoke a response of their our bodies by urine play,” mentioned Goerlich. “Others do not discover urination to be degrading in any respect, however merely benefit from the sensory expertise of the second. As with most issues — kink is within the eye of the beholder.”