“Your Fat Friend” isn’t attempting to solve fatphobia or provide a history lesson on fatness in America (which would require six seasons of hour-long episodes at minimum), and instead uses the character-driven focus of Aubrey Gordon’s existence and activism as a reminder to the world at large that society is permissibly cruel to fat people. Whenever fat people talk candidly about the obstacles we face or justifiably complain about the garbage treatment we receive, we’re always told to “love ourselves.”
Sounds good, except loving myself isn’t going to make a doctor prescribe me an antibiotic instead of weight loss when I come in complaining about a sinus infection. Captioning my photos with “sexy isn’t a size it’s a state of mind” isn’t going to magically remind an employer that my work ethic is not dictated by my weight in a country where weight discrimination is perfectly legal in the workplace in most states. Or as Aubrey Gordon puts it, “you can’t love your way out of oppression.”
The big lie about anti-fat bias is that people believe it has to deal with internal factors when the reality is that fat people who are miserable feel that way because society is so inhospitable, discriminatory, and inaccessible. It’s why I seriously thought I was going to lose my f***ing mind hearing people call “The Whale” a “brave” or “moving” film when it fails to acknowledge the actual problems fat people face and instead presents “the nightmare of a thin person come to life, disguising a cautionary tale as one of humanity while dehumanizing the protagonist at every turn.” This documentary is about Aubrey Gordon’s rise in fame, yes, but it’s also a reflection of the day-to-day experience of millions. It’s honest and empathetic without ever begging the audience to see fat people as human.
Either you see us that way, or you don’t, and that’s your issue to work through on your own time and dime.
“Your Fat Friend” is available in limited theaters and on VOD through Jolt.