Actress Tommy Dorfman is married! The “13 Reasons Why” star recently revealed that she casually eloped with her partner, Elise, late last year.
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Dorfman Marries Partner In Low-Key LA Ceremony
The Netflix star talked about her low-key engagement and marriage in an essay in Vogue. She described moving to New York City as a fresh divorcée, with big dreams of casually dating around the city. Her marriage to Peter Zurkuhlen, whom she married in 2016, had ended and Dorfman was eager to explore life as a single woman (Dorfman came out as trans in 2021).
“Jumping into a long-term relationship, let alone another marriage, was not part of the plan. I wanted to explore my newly minted womanhood as freely as possible in the city infamous for short-term flings,” she wrote.
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Love At First Swipe
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She downloaded Hinge and matched with Elise, whom she describes as “a redhead with an affinity for ‘crisp glassware and well-organized bodegas,’ the type of texter who ‘does her best,’ and undeniably beautiful.”
After meeting and falling in love, the two moved quickly, getting engaged after two months, albeit privately. Elise is a private citizen who eschews the limelight, Dorfman explained. Dorfman’s high-profile, Hollywood lifestyle was polar opposite to Elise’s.
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“Elise remains a self-respecting and grounded human—she likes her life, and her privacy. She still doesn’t follow me on Instagram and her account is private, with just a small following of friends and loved ones who she lets in. Fame, or even fame by association, was never aspirational for her… On the other hand, I had never been more public-facing than in our first year together: from fashion weeks to beauty campaigns to the Met Gala,” the actress explained.
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Dorfman’s Wife ‘Likes Her Privacy’
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However, their differences brought them closer together—and made them more private.
“Those first few months illustrated our lifestyle differences and became a testing ground for how we would relate to the outside world. When I nonchalantly mentioned I was engaged on a podcast in the summer of 2022, it made an embarrassing amount of headlines, and so we decided as a couple to keep things private until we chose to invite others in.”
The two decided to keep their nuptials as private as possible. They went about buying dresses for the occasion, but never settling on a specific date.
“Our love had formed and grown in a contained bubble, so why couldn’t our marriage be on the same terms?”
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Pair Spontaneously Marry In Los Angeles
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Until one day when the two were in Los Angeles, they began throwing around the idea of a same-day marriage. Their lighthearted bantering turned serious and the deal was sealed.
“The bit turned more serious when I took to Google and actually learned there was a concierge service for this in Los Angeles (of course there was) and California was the only state that offered confidential marriage services, meaning our papers wouldn’t be in the public record and nobody would know we got married. A few hours later, a man showed up at our hotel in Santa Monica, took photos of us on our iPhones and a disposable camera I bought at CVS that morning, and we ended the day at a concert without telling a soul what we’d done.”
Private Pair Shares Wedding Photos
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The couple eventually returned to the East Coast and participated in an intimate photo shoot on the streets of New York City to commemorate their marriage. Their friend, photographer Hunter Abrams, lensed their first family portraits.
After seeing the photos, the private pair decided they wanted to share them with the world.
“While we won’t live our lives online in any way that isn’t well-protected, we do see the benefit of celebrating our love with the world—and, frankly, the importance of people seeing trans and queer love en vogue.”