Happy April Fools Day! If you don’t have any jokes today, don’t worry; there’s plenty from the last week on Twitter to keep you laughing all day (and yes, we’re still calling it Twitter):
still haven’t heard a single person call twitter anything other than twitter and it’s been almost 2 years at this point
— ̊ (@doxie_gay) March 25, 2024
Twitter: @doxie_gay
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Twitter: @roryc0yne
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Paramount Pictures / Via Twitter: @gorgeousbrains
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ITV2 / Via Twitter: @FionaSmall
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Jesus was a carpenter which means for a split second when they handed him his cross he probably clocked it and was like hmmm cedar
— Daniel (@growing_daniel) March 31, 2024
Twitter: @growing_daniel
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Twitter: @kirawontmiss
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Todd Owyoung/NBC via Getty Images
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Twitter: @NotPremi
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Twitter: @IsabelSteckel
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I buy frozen broccoli like twice a week at my neighborhood grocery spot and this time as I’m checking out the cashier goes “you know… we sell fresh broccoli too.” gather me sister…
— Paul McCallion (@OrangePaulp) March 28, 2024
Twitter: @OrangePaulp
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Twitter: @mainbitchclique
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Twitter: @VaahNana
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Friend making $20/hr as a barista: “No worries bro, I”ll cover this one and you’ll get the next one!”Friend making $450k as a software engineer: “Can you Venmo me $3.62 for your share of the Uber ride?”
— Roshan Patel (@roshanpateI) March 27, 2024
Twitter: @roshanpateI
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not to romanticize the medical practices of the early 1900s but doctors really fell off when they stopped prescribing visits to the seaside
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) March 27, 2024
Twitter: @roastmalone_
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one of my classmates said he’s going into consulting because he likes giving people his opinion but he doesn’t like doing anything lol
— jenn ☀️ (@jennsun) March 28, 2024
Twitter: @jennsun
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5’8 dudes will say “I’ll get to the bottom of this” as if they’re not already there
— DeWitt B. Fartin (@DeWittBFartin) March 28, 2024
Twitter: @DeWittBFartin
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Twitter: @wownicebuttdude
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Twitter: @mikescollins
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whenever i’m having a bad day i’m just like dang imagine if i had kids too
— CEIRA (@THEEPROBLEMCEE) March 31, 2024
Twitter: @THEEPROBLEMCEE
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Twitter: @pizzapurist
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Never be sad on a weekend. Cry during business hours and get paid for your depression. Don’t let capitalism win.
— Cali (@calidaysay) March 29, 2024
Twitter: @calidaysay
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this straight couple brought a BABY into a GAY BAR and got MAD when I joked “these twinks look younger every year”
— flames from the side of my face (@playacathysong) March 30, 2024
Twitter: @playacathysong
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Twitter: @curnbucket
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Twitter: @DijahSB
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Twitter: @desamting
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Sitting next to this lil girl on a plane and she ALL in my phone. I know she reading this as I type YES lil girl mind yo business
— ♟️ (@DoshaDeng) March 26, 2024
Twitter: @DoshaDeng
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Young Money / Cash Money / Universal Republic / Via Twitter: @jdapetite1
That’s a wrap for this week! Don’t forget to shoot these creators a follow. For more funny tweets, check out our most recent roundups:
29 Hilarious Tweets From The Week Because Humor Makes The World Go Round
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