Online dating as a lesbian can unfortunately still involve having your space invaded by straight people.
The heteronormative weirdness got so alienating that lesbians turned to TikTok as a means of meeting other single lesbians (and it worked), but it’s unrealistic to expect a social media app to work like a dating app for everyone. Lesbians who have exhausted their local romantic options are still going to want to see who else is out there in time for cuffing season.
And while it’s unfortunately still all too common to match with a woman just to be hit with the classic “My boyfriend and I are looking for a threesome,” dating apps have been making strides to make sure queer women actually have a space to date other queer women.
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How to find the best dating apps for lesbians
Mainstream dating apps attract the most users — including queer users. These days, Hinge, Bumble, OkCupid, and even eharmony all have clear filters about looking at people of the same gender or any gender at all, as well as filters that acknowledge the existence of non-traditional relationships. Especially if you don’t live in a densely populated area, going for a more popular app can help you actually make connections.
With that said, HER is an app by and for queer women, and it’s grown to have a strong user base. According to their website, the app has over 13 million registered users worldwide. The app also emphasizes finding community and making friends in addition to dating, giving you plenty ways to find a connection with other queer women and nonbinary folks.
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For the full low down on our recommendations, check out our list below.
A note on what didn’t make the list
A decent number of dating sites and apps specifically for lesbians do exist, but most are plagued with the same issues: Either their sole purpose is to sexualize lesbians and aren’t really meant for genuine connection at all, or their lax security protocols make it way too easy for ill-intentioned men to sign up pretending to be women. (Creeps are drawn to porn-y names like Pink Flirt.) If you’re wondering why we left most of those so-called female-only apps out, that’s why.
As of Dec. 7, we’ve also temporarily pulled Feeld from our list of recommendations. While we formerly recommended it due to it being a great app for open-minded and poly folks to meet, a recent update has unfortunately caused serious safety concerns, which you can read more about here. We’ll be watching how Feeld handles the issues as we reevaluate whether or not Feeld can keep a place on our list.
How we tested
The feeling of what makes a “good” dating app can be highly subjective, which is why we take as all-encompassing an approach as possible when making our recommendations.
As of Dec. 7, we’ve temporarily pulled Feeld from our recommendations due to serious safety concerns related to sharing users’ locations and deleting user accounts without cause that occurred during the app’s recent update. We are in the process of reevaluating their place among our list of recommendations.
We actually spend time testing out these apps, making sure we don’t see repeat profiles or encounter glitchy features. We look at what’s available for free, and how the features of an app actually cater to specific audiences — in this case, we looked at whether filters and profile prompts were useful for queer women using them.
Our sex and relationships team stays up to date on the latest updates from apps and how they affect user experience, so we’re sure to keep that in mind, too. And of course, we turn to social media and the internet to hear about the wider user experience of these apps. Though rarely is it all a rosy picture, it gives us a better sense of what apps people are actually using, what they like about them, and what they wish could be better.