Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R), whom Donald Trump once reportedly mulled calling “Tiny D” (before landing on the curt, devastating “Rob”), would like to set the record straight. He is not only tall but also a sensible shopper, the flailing presidential candidate proclaimed on the PBD podcast on Monday.
The topic came up when host Patrick Bet-David lobbed what he probably thought was a softball at DeSantis: “I’m sure your marketing team points out how they’re trying to troll you in the marketplace,” he says, before playing a clip of DeSantis during a recent appearance on Real Time with Bill Maher, featuring the governor sporting a hefty pair of boots that’s since reignited the ongoing rumor that DeSantis, estimated to stand somewhere in the height range of 5’7” to 5’10”, wears shoe lifts. “Some people are wondering—what they’re trying to say with this is, that in your boots, you have heels,” Bet-David says. He’s not accusing DeSantis, personally, he implicitly insists, he’s just repeating what he’s been hearing through the nasty, catty grapevine! “Those are just standard, off-the-rack Lucchese boots,” DeSantis says. When asked how tall he is, he replies, without batting an eye, “5’11.” Hmm!
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Where words fail, allow me to present the visuals:
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As one fashion TikToker put it, “This theory only came about because of how weird this man walks and because of how his boots look when worn. First and foremost, why do the front of his boots look empty? And why are they curling?” He then walks us through the anatomy of a human leg and why there’s something just not adding up here.
Look, I get it: DeSantis’ campaign is gasping for air, bogged down by one act of nearly ritualistic emasculation perpetrated by the Trump campaign after another. Clocking in anywhere under the 6’0” height his much-talked-about Lucchese boots accord him would be a disaster that could very well bury his campaign in an even deeper hole than his personality and void of charisma already have. Height and perception of virility and masculinity have long been unfair but decisive factors in who’s elected president. I get it! But did DeSantis’ campaign advisers seriously not consider the brutal, watchful eye of the internet, which has been busy—to say the least—since DeSantis’ Bill Maher appearance earlier this month? The deeply weird posture, the way the toe of his boots and his actual foot appear to be a mile apart, the uncannily elevated height—were we all supposed to just sit there and suspend our disbelief?
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As for DeSantis claiming to be 5’11”, this is hardly the most upsetting lie of his political career. But it’s arguably his most annoying lie—if you’re going to give a fake height you might as well just say you’re 6’. There’s something so snide and calculatingly dishonest about being 5’8”, 5’9”, and claiming to be 5’11”, but then again, there’s something snide and calculatingly dishonest about the rest of him too.
In any case, between getting dragged for his boots on Real Time with Bill Maher and dragged, again, for his dubious claims on PBD, I’ll be surprised if we ever see or hear from this man again.
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