Adam Driver returned to the Saturday Night Live stage over the weekend for his fourth time serving as host, and got musical for his fun, holiday-themed monologue.
“I’m so excited to be back! I have to say especially during this time of year. I love Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday,” Driver shared from the iconic Studio 8H stage. “The food, the music, the family. But largely, it’s because I have a very deep and personal relationship with Santa.”
Driver — who has established a track record for very free-form, charismatically laid-back SNL monologues — explained, “Every year, I make my Christmas list and I tell it to him. It’s kind of our ritual. Usually I do it in private, but since we’re here and I know Santa watches SNL. He hasn’t liked it since Kattan left. But if you don’t mind, I would like to make my Christmas list right now, if that’s OK.”
Taking a seat at a grand piano — ostensibly because “the piano is part of the ritual” — Driver broke down his list for Santa, and addressed the jolly gentleman directly.
“Hey, Santa! It’s me, Adam Driver. From the nice list. And also Girls. I turn 40 this year, Santa. So I would like five pairs of chinos,” Driver shared. “I also want one of those giant metal Tesla trucks. I think it would pair perfectly with my teeny tiny micro penis.”
“Oh, and I would like people to stop coming up to me on the street saying, ‘You killed Han Solo.’ I didn’t kill him. Wokeness killed Han Solo,” Driver continued. “What else do I want? Oh, you know those TikToks that’s like those couples that do pranks on each other? Can you kill those people?”
The list continued, as Driver got goofy, sharing, “You know what I want for Christmas is a gingerbread house. Do you think a gingerbread man gets scared when he realizes the house is made of his own skin? That’s a cute one. You can tell your kids that one.”
“I should also say, another thing I love about Christmas is eggnog. It’s my favorite way to have eggs. Whenever I go to a diner and they say, ‘How would you like your eggs?’ I say nogged,” Driver said, wrapping up the shenanigans. “OK, Santa, thank you for listening. I look forward to you breaking into my house.”
Driver — who was joined by musical guest Olivia Rodrigo — hosted one week after Emma Stone’s fifth time hosting, which meant she spent her monologue getting inducted into the Five-Timers’ Club. Check out the video below for a look at the fun monologue.
Saturday Night Live airs live, coast-to-coast, at 11:30 p.m. ET/8:30 p.m. PT on NBC.
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